As our Chicks alumnae know, Kim Reynolds, the Head Chick, is also a certified life coach. Many have benefited from Kim’s coaching practice over the years, and we wanted to start to share some of her writing here on the Chicks blog as well! For those who want to contact Kim about a free coaching session, her contact information is at the bottom.
There are many daily activities we perform automatically and often take for granted: we breathe, we blink and we make choices. Have you ever stopped to consider how many choices you make throughout the day? Think about it! There are two ways to look at your options: conscious and unconscious decisions.
Conscious choices happen when you: are awake, aware, have a heightened sensitivity, are deliberate, intentional and in control. You are connected to a higher frequency and bring others into consideration.
Unconscious choices happen when you: are unaware, don’t realize what you are doing, have an automatic response or reflex. You might not take others into consideration or stop to think of the consequences.
Which do you think will create a better outcome?
In America, our world is full of privileged choices that align with our values and are carried out of our own free will. We are no longer in survival mode or forced to do things we don’t want to do, even though it can often feel that way. We willingly pile things on, and as a result we become very, very busy. Sound familiar? Our self-inflicted irony is that we have to juggle our obligations and this is where it gets complicated and overwhelming.
Our most profound choice is the one we often do without notice – it’s how we show up and conduct ourselves while responding to our responsibilities of the moment. Here’s a great example: after my shoulder surgery my boyfriend wanted to bring me to his house and take care of me. It was his week to have his adorable six-year old son and he had several deadlines at work. All good problems! I knew he really wanted to be there for me and he was hurt that I even considered another option. So I said “yes, I really do want you to take care of me!”
There I was confined to a reclining chair for three days, needing constant ice, pain medication every few hours, water and food. I couldn’t even get out of the chair or dressed without his help. Meanwhile, he was a father, a caregiver and an architect. I was needy and he was stressed. He was unaware of the energy he was exuding until I pointed out that I wasn’t getting what I needed which was calm and compassion. It was hard for him to understand how his tension was affecting me until I brought it to his attention. Once he became conscious of what he was doing, he saw it and was able to make a shift.
The things we say “yes” to become the obligations we are morally committed to carry out simply because we said so. Here, we discover a delicate balance amidst our responsibilities to serve our family, friends, colleagues and ourselves. Since a commitment is something we want or need to get done, we are faced with how we choose to conduct ourselves. We can carry them out with joy and enthusiasm, or we can be annoyed or angry (at ourselves and everyone around us). Which is more satisfying? Which will have the outcome we want? Frankly, one draws people in and one pushes them away. One produces happiness and one produces unhappiness. One is the high road and one is the low road.
When we are in tune with our actions, we operate at a higher state of consciousness and are essentially awake. It takes constant diligence to exercise this level of awareness, and the result is being more present and content with everything we do! Essentially, it will bring more peace to ourselves and others.
1) Take a close look at what you say you’ll do and what you really want to do.
2) Be aware of how you act when you carry out your tasks. Is there a smile on your face? Or do you seem bothered?
3) Notice the affect the mood you are choosing (at the moment) has on others.
4) Acknowledge and remember that you can make a different choice.
5) Put a sticky note on your computer or refrigerator to remind you.
6) Ask for what you want.
7) Allow those closest to you to be your mirror.
8) Give back what you want to receive.
9) Learn to say “no”.
10) Pay attention to your actions!
Kim Reynolds is the founder of Chicks Climbing: Chicks with Picks & Chicks Rock!, Mind Over Mountains (mindovermountains.com) and the dZi Foundation (dzifoundation.org). Kim is a Certified Life Coach. For a free Life Coaching sample session give Kim a call at 970-623-2442 or email firstname.lastname@example.org. To read more of her articles go to:http://kimreynoldslifecoach.com/